58 reasons to do what I said I'd do

I'm starting a newsletter about the extraordinary process of ageing.

Clamour Club. Photograph: Allan Levy Photography (allanlevyphotography.co.uk)

How long have I been thinking about starting a newsletter about ageing? Too long. I’ve been getting older while I’ve been procrastinating, so I thought I would stop worrying about it being perfect and get started, just as I turn 58.

The Extraordinary Process is the title of my newsletter and it is inspired by a David Bowie quote.

‘Ageing is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been’

So The Extraordinary Process newsletter (or The E. P.) is about that. Becoming more you, whatever that is at the moment. Opening up possibilities and trying things out. Picking things up and dropping other things. Finding ways to feel good and never assuming you’ve missed the boat. Confounding expectations when required.

I’ll be telling extraordinary people’s stories, linking to interesting information and articles, and finding all kinds of ways to enjoy the process of ageing, whatever age you happen to be.

We’re on the journey anyway, so we might as well try and enjoy it.

So, a bit about me. I’m Yvonne.

Hello.

I’m a health and wellbeing journalist and I’m training to become a life coach. So, I don’t have all the answers, but I’ll see what I can find out, and at least ask a good question or two.

Let me tell you what I did last year, which I admit I thought I was far too old for.

I became part of a new all-female punk band at the age of 57.

Without any stage experience or the ability to play the guitar, I became part of a new band - Clamour Club. Now I’m a vocalist and guitarist. We have played three gigs. People have cheered and clapped. They have. We even have a song called Extraordinary Process.

I didn’t take this leap without help though.

It was all part of a project in Leicester, in the UK, to get more women playing music and forming bands. It’s called Unglamorous Music. The driving force behind this was one woman. Ruth Miller. She put her energy, talent, time, and even her own money into her mission. I couldn’t wait to take part when I heard about it. The pitch was that even if you had never picked up an instrument, that shouldn’t mean you can’t do it now, whatever age you are.

What I didn’t know when I started on the workshops was that Ruth was terminally ill with cancer. She used her last couple of years and months to create something wonderful and life-changing for around 70 women, including me. She died last year, in October. She was 61.

Ruth had been in bands over the years, and she wanted to encourage more women to do the same if they dreamed of doing so. And most of the women taking part in Unglamorous Music were in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s. Through Ruth’s drive, inspiration, energy, and encouragement, we tried instruments, learned how to write songs, and perform, and we formed bands. And we got on stage. Terrifying and exhilarating, but Ruth was always there encouraging us, driving us on, and generally making stuff happen.

This all culminated in an amazing all-dayer in September 2023 at a pub in Leicester called Firebug. All the bands played, including Ruth’s band The Verinos.

It was an incredible day.

I was very nervous.

My sister Monica unbeknownst to me had secretly arranged with my husband Allan to surprise me by travelling to Leicester to be there for the gig. It made me so happy.

We had four songs at the time. One of them is called I Know What You Did, in which I repeat that one line 24 times in an increasingly sinister way. In another, Wasp, which was inspired by a wasp nest in an inconvenient place, our electric cello player Sam digs deep for some of the most shouty, screamy uninhibited singing you’ll ever experience. With Sarah on drums, Louisa on keyboards and Toni on bass, we played our songs and loved it. It seemed to all be over in a few minutes. Coming offstage we were exhilarated, relieved and on top of the world.

I remember seeing Ruth perform on stage that day, including the I Bet You Wish You Were In The Band Tonight song when half the audience joined them on stage. And then later seeing her sitting upstairs in the ‘backstage’ area, taking a breather. She praised us for being so well rehearsed, and we simply couldn’t have asked for more than that.

I never saw Ruth again after that day.

A memorial for Ruth was held at Firebug on Saturday, November 4, and while it was a sad and emotional day, it was also life-affirming. I looked around at all these women, most of whom I didn’t know at the start of the year. It’s a community now. I thought wow, look at what Ruth did. What a legacy. What a genuine inspiration. It’s not even that I could say I knew her very well, but she made an important impact on me.

So we are continuing Ruth’s mission. Playing in our bands and creating an inclusive and friendly space for people to experience and create live music and make friends.

Unglamorous Music will carry on giving other women the chance to try out being in a band for size to see if they like it.

And as our first major event, we are holding a three-day music festival in Leicester as part of International Women’s Day.

Clamour Club, is playing the first night, Friday, March 8, at the Firebug pub. If you’re in the area that evening come on down and see us. Come and find me and say hello, I’ll be wearing a sparkly top of some kind. Joining us on the line-up will be Caroline McClavy, Ginkgo Cloud, Glitch Magnet, Value of Nothing, Verinos, Virginia’s Wolves and The Wonky Portraits.

Next night, Saturday, March 9, at The Donkey pub, Mental Load, Misskicks, Rogue Notion, Typical Girls, Velvet Crisis and Venus Attax will play. It will also include bands from Unglamorous Folkestone. It’s a fundraiser for Leicester hospice charity LOROS.

Then on Sunday, March 10, it’s Boilers, Dada Women, and Pretty Dirty Rats, at the Attenborough Arts Centre.

It’s hard to believe that this time last year I didn’t have an electric guitar and wouldn’t have thought of asking for a Boss distortion pedal for Christmas. But things change and if you’re open to it, some good stuff can happen. David Bowie was right.

For tickets and more info on the International Women’s Day Unglamorous Music events, visit iwdunglam.co.uk.

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Strong stuff!

I’ve been following Joan Macdonald on Instagram for about a year. She is in her mid-seventies and five years ago she started to focus on exercise and nutrition to improve her health. It wasn’t easy but Joan has transformed her health and strength. Her story is inspiring to me not just because of how strong and fit she has become, but because she didn’t let her age stop her. She tried something new and it looks like it’s changed her life. You can find her on Instagram at trainwithjoan.